Showing Up Anyway

Currently sitting on the couch, cozied up with a blanket draped over me. I’ve been here long enough for my once piping-hot coffee to turn ice-cold. Everything in my flesh is telling me not to write. The battle in the spiritual realm feels so real.

Lord, help me to write.

My goal has always been to write at least one blog a day, hoping that consistent practice will improve my writing skills. But when it’s time to actually do it, I freeze. I come up with every excuse to keep my fingers off the keyboard.

Perfectionism rushes in, already judging and critiquing a blank page. I’m ready to step into what God is calling me to, yet I’m faced with doubt and fear. My mind turns against itself, overwhelmed by every reason not to start.

But here I am, showing up. No longer searching for the perfect words—just words in general. I don’t need every sentence to be powerful; I just need them to exist on paper. One page, Amanda. That’s all it is. And somehow, I’m already a quarter of the way there.

Using this site to “publish” blogs feels safe. I know there isn’t much traffic here, so not many eyes will see this. It gives me a safe place to write, but also just enough accountability, knowing that someone might stumble upon these words.

If you’ve found your way here, welcome. My name is Amanda Joy, and I have a heart to write. Ironically, English was one of my hardest subjects growing up. Writing has never come easy to me. But that’s the beauty of God’s calling—He equips the unequipped. Looking back, I think He does that so we fully depend on Him, not our own human strength.

It’s been four years of knowing I want to do something more than being a hairstylist. My dream is to write a book, lean into public speaking, pursue blogging, and fulfill my desire to have a podcast.

But for today, it’s just one page. Showing up anyway.